Grief and Art

I've skipped over what happened with my ailing family and friend. In short, in the course of two months, I lost both my best friend and my mother. An uncle died in between. Needless to say, a time to ponder life, and death, and deal with the emotions that come with it.

Losing my best friend at age 65 has been hard. I miss her so much. Janet was not a traditional person, and she did not want a traditional funeral. She wanted a celebration of her life in a social setting with none of the trappings of a funeral home. And that's what she got. A casually elegant gathering of invited guests, at the top of the Pfister Hotel in Milwaukee, with appetizers and drinks. There was a display of items that were telling of Janet's personality: sparkly glasses, sparkly pen, beautiful pink hat adorned with feathers and flowers, her sparkly queen's crown.....you get the picture. Janet lived large with sparkle, elegance, and a bit of flamboyance, but always with love in her heart for family and friends.

As she was dying, it was interesting to see how I handled the grief. I instantly went to writing, and creating. I gathered a number of f**k cancer items and gifted them to her with a funny card I made. I wrote to her, expressing how much she meant to me, and how much of an impact her life made on others. When death was immenent, but Janet was not quite ready to accept it, I made her an "Ascension of Janet" collage. There was no holding it back. It had to be done. I was driven. I found everything pink and sparkly that was in my studio, and fashioned a peaceful Janet ascending to the heavens. She did see it before she passed. It was displayed at her life celebration, and now it hangs in my hallway, sparkling at me as I go about my household chores. Grief manifested itself in creativity. For me, at least.

Sick, or not, We had to wear sparkly hats for a Zoom birthday party!

Janet ascended on May 24, 2021. I like to think this is how she felt.

My mom died on July 30th. She was surrounded by my dad and all of her five children. We all got to say good-bye and bless her with holy water. She was ready and willing to leave this earth. I miss her every day, talk to her and imagine her reactions to my actions! But, I can accept it more. She was 87, she lived a good life, she was suffering. Again, though, my reaction was grounded in art. I'd never even considered getting a tattoo, and now I was thinking of getting a small cardinal on my wrist! My mom loved cardinals. And while I'm at it, I should get a small crown for Janet. I made an extensive pinterest page dedicated to cardinal and crown tattoos. Once again, art as an expression of grief.

The jury's still out on the tattoos. I've been considering other creative options. as well. Maybe a charm bracelet? A cardinal collage, or a mother collage? The point is, I need to create some kind of expression of my grief, or some kind of celebration of my mom's life.

Well, actually, I've done the celebration part. It came in the manifestation of a corn eating contest. My mom, as a young adult, was the corn eating queen of the Hales Corners Fair! She ate 16 ears of corn in half on hour! We did gather as a family and reenacted the corn eating contest (only for four minutes!) complete with "corny" prizes and bragging rights. It was a fun way to honor my mom, and celebrate her love of corn on the cob. Just can't keep those creative ideas down.....they pop up.....even when YOU are down!

My mom, the queen of our family...and the Hales Corners Corn Eating Contest!

Tattoo? Or not to tattoo?